more coffee
can't seem to shake the sleepiness that's overcome me since lunch (msg in the chinese food? generic food in belly? what?). but glad to be home and plugging away at projects. mixture of anticipation (cool ideas running in my head, sketching thoughts, trying to make sense of far too much text -- how to present it so it makes sense and interacts with the space most effectively?) and anxiety (will I fail? will I? huh???).

but it's good to be home. the grumpy baby child is home and listening to some version of soft rock in the kitchen. hopefully he will be social and inflict his "love songs after dark" on someone else. even so, I am glad to be home.
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rural shtick
despite my imagined life in the country (calm, lots of painting, meditative, zen-like), I'm finding that I don't react to the expansive silence as well as I'd like. instead, the huge staticky silence on my sell phone, and the lack of connectivity (why won't my webmail WORK?!) makes me one big anxious mess.

i forced myself to stop and enjoy pt reyes -- instead of rushing from computer to photocopier to computer and back home again -- i went for a walk. yep, it made my day about 1-2 hours longer (grr, and without pay, at that -- this hourly wage servitude is hard to get reacquainted with...). and yes, my sore foot flared up (i need to get on some insurance...). but it was blissful. trees, deer, vultures, quail, bubbly creek, gorgeous yellow hills. I think I could eat the hills out there with a spoon. something about the yellow hills, perhaps cuz my childhood (what I remember) involved similar dry extremely flammable hills. but just something about them grabs a hold of me. i've never loved a landscape as much as these damn hills. perhaps i do have a land, a home, a country that resonates within me. whoda thunk it?
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translucent
funny how some people are (or seem) so sweet and sincere that they are fairly translucent, in a weird glowy kinda way that has nothing to do with auras, and everything to do with (probably) moisturizer. funny too how some people seem so familiar, whether it be because of similarities, or nothing so explicable...

-sigh-

kellykellyo! i think i've found someone who's stealing your raw materials. or she's a younger, not identical doppelganger (yes, I know that doesn't make any sense).

:: ewee 5:12:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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