grrls and boi's
went to the apiqwtc lunar new year banquet this year with my taekwondo troupe, i mean school. it was good fun -- we had a funny performance that seemed to go over well. i can't remember a damn thing, but people seemed to laugh in all the right parts, so i'm pleased.

got some flak for wearing a dress. not sure what that was about, as i was as uncouth as ever (pork ribs ummm! messy! har!). but it was fun to dress up and kinda sorta have a date with dees. we don't do that enough. plus, besides the pantyhose falling thing (might be time for a new pair -- they ARE some 10 years old), i had a blast -- going from bad guy with big stick to girl in a dress in one night. drag on drag, i guess.

funny thing, gender, no matter where i sit, i'm not on the right side. as a kid (and even more now) i really was a tomboy -- playing in the dirt, mucking about on old horse trails with my dog.

now, there's whole new gender identities. which i love. no more simple confusion of whether i'm male or female -- "do i harrass you or beat the shit outta you?" -- now there's so many more layers -- the simplistic binary world can't possibly keep up. i love that. but i hate hate hate the shit in the community about who's in and out. if i'm not attractive to you in my regular baggy jeans and regulation t-shirt (same clothes day in and out, aaah), then it's not such a compliment to be suddenly so attractive in a dress. hell, it's too close to all the programming i got growing up -- "you COULD be so pretty if you'd only try..." and the whole ugly dyke vs. asian doll phenomenon.

so i guess i'll never be the femme/butch/boi/grrrl of your dreams, but who the hell said i wanted to be? i got my own thing, thanks.

:: ewee 1:19:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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