For Better or Worse
Been thinking a bit. lots happening offline these days. There's plenty of flak that happens everywhere, and I know that randomness means that anything can happen anytime. Yet, the killing of Marlon Mayorga gave me a bit of pause. A guy walking his dog a block away from his home, on a block that I love. Senseless and close to home, literally and figuratively. And been feeling overwhelmed and hopeless with all the changes at work. Decisions are made, people are discarded, and I don't expect business decisions to make sense to me all the time, but it's hard to keep rolling when it keeps happening, and things don't add up.

So I'm finding myself, on this rainy beginning to a rainy weekend, hunkering down, and thinking about living a right life, and how to appreciate and live life meditatively. We can't control how we enter or leave this world. Shoots, I'm fairly certain that I wouldn't want to have that kinda knowledge or power. But then what can we do? And what a perfect time to read my Buddha books. All we have, all we can do is now. In this moment. There's so much anxiety that drives me. It's good, in that it keeps me working hard and pushing to keep ideas flowing through me. It's bad, in that it can cripple my ability to enjoy the moment, to be here and now.

And to tie it all back to the posting-drawing schedule. Looks like posting once a week is about my speed, tho I'm still drawing nearly daily. It makes sense. Drawing comes to me easier, because it's the way in which I can reach that good crunchy present moment meditative state. When I draw, the constant dialogue is still there, and the lists of things I must accomplish are still there, but none of it is pushing on me as much--it flows, and sometimes, when it flows, it untangles and gets solved on its own. But mainly, it just flows, and I'm able to sit and look and truly see what's in front of me. And if I'm working on something that means something to me--a sketch, a painting--it can move me. Drawing my dogs makes me calm, and sometimes moves me to tears for loving their sweet true dogly selves so much.

So most of the sketches I'm posting this week are of my dogs. I'm working on a couple other paintings and bits, but this week I really got back into spending time seeing my dogs. Kehoe curled up tiny is how I imagine my pup--tiny and curled up and in need of protection. Funny thing is, she's a formidable looking rotty mix, and she's busy with her own defenses for herself and us against all manner of dangers--real and imagined. So many things worry her, and I wonder if she would've been better with an owner who wasn't so predisposed to anxiety and worrying. But dog and people are for better or worse (at least that's my theory), and so we keep on keeping on together.

The other sketches are of the mischievous little Tokimonster at rest. Despite all my defenses, she's carved out her own little curled up spot in my heart.

Labels: art, dogdogdog, dogs, doodle, kehoe, one-a-day, sketches

:: ewee 1:47:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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