landslide and heartache

[Been writing and writing and writing to try and get this all out. Much of this is a repeat of my emails, skip it if you've seen it before. Just working it all through, and figuring stuffs out.]

Oy...so much, and first--how much do you (we) all rock? I'm so proud to be part of this community. Some folks were canvassing/phone banking/volunteering until the bitter end. And I was so inspired and moved (to both laughter and tears) by all the stories. From the image of sweet faced Vung Homo #1 driving up to the yesholes and screaming "NOOOOO!" (and the resulting "Yes!"-"NO!" volley...what I'd give to see that!), to Right Rev JJ (and her LAWFUL wifey, PZ) handing out drinks (read: rights) to some, but not all. Lunamania and (her nonwife) JC for organizing and making it easy to get off my butt and get involved...so glad to have found likeminded folks! (talking bsg, not politics :-)). And all the people who held up signs (no matter the weather or if they were horribly outnumbered and intimidated)--those smiles were like life rafts in a minefield of yesholes as I went to and from work (like my mixed metaphor?). The people who took time and traveled to or called battleground states for Obama. All the people who donated $5, $10, whatever they could. The tomatoes and basil one woman gave me for her Obama pin. FakeSarahPalin, Tina Fey, and all the debate drinking games. What a windup to this election! Phew!

And last night. That amazing, insane moment when Obama passed 270, when I couldn't believe what I was seeing. (Yes, I have a table of the progression of electoral votes in the works, I'll post it here ~~soon~~ now.) And then watching those numbers go higher and higher and higher. Finally believing it. Jumping up and down and screaming. Standing still and crying. Still don't totally believe it's true (anyone get a paper? I forgot! Gotta keep the headlines! get an extra, if you remember?). People jubilant in the streets of Oakland--cars, bikes, people. Like critical mass, but happier for the folks in the cars. Driving through downtown, lake, fruitvale--and happy people everywhere.

7:35pm¹ 8:00pm 8:01pm² 8:06pm³ 8:14pm 8:16pm 8:22pm 8:37pm

OBAMA! 207 207 284⁴ 297 306⁵ 333 333 338

McCain 135 142 146 146 146 146 156 156

¹all times PST, ²called on msnbc, ³called on cnn.com, ⁴ Obama wins! We start screaming, ⁵ Really. It starts to really sink in. More screaming.

LANDSLIDE. Mandate of the people. Relief after so much pent up anxiety. A resounding victory they can't steal. And Bush, finally finally finally an afterthought, a footnote, over--thank frakkin dog. We need to have a party for that (belly palace, January, anyone?).

And yes, heartache. It hurts more than I expected it to. We re-defeated prop 4 (yay cali! three times in four years!), northern cali defeated prop h8, and people have been so kind--allies coming out of the woodwork--strangers, coworkers. Straight people who get that it's part of a larger battle. Helps make up for the fact that h8 now has a face in the people in my life who chose to vote yes. Still it hurts.

Here's the thing. Obama wins for me, for you, for all of us. I have to believe it. We knew that change, while it's coming, will require work. Let's take this heartache, and hold it dear and near. Let's use our unique position, straddling communities, on the verge of change in one community, to remember when it's our neighbor who's rights are imperiled. Let's remember the allies who stood with us, who are outraged and upset, who are aware that they too have a personal stake in defending our rights.

When the time comes, and we have our rights, and we are accepted, and we are no longer others or outsiders (ok, mebbe not all of that...). Let us never forget this feeling. And let us always always always choose the right path, make the right choices, and bring others up, rather than stepping on those less fortunate to improve our lot.

To the cowards who lied and cheated us out of our rights, is that the best you could do? Barely over half. That is not the will of the people, that is business as usual--divide and conquer. You know that there is an upwelling of public opinion that's changing. That is why you are afraid. You know that you are wrong. You know that we do not live in a theocracy--that, in fact, this country was founded by people escaping religious persecution (albeit also founded with a fair bit of genocide, among other things). That is why you are turning my family, my friends, my community against me. May I have the strength to turn the other cheek--not out of submission or fear, but in restraint, so I may go on to face the larger fight.

In the end, you know that a house built on a foundation of deceit and manipulation and fear will never last. When they tumble, let us be the ones solid in our knowledge that we are building a movement based on truth and strength and justice. And when they turn to us for help, let me not stoop to revenge (as tempting as it might be). But let me savor the truth and justice, and focus on the next battle ahead, because it's a long road, and queer rights are just the tip of the iceberg.

But mainly, I have hope today that this new administration thinks that the time for lying, fear, cheating/robbery of rights is ending:
"A government of the people, by the people, for the people has not perished from the earth. ...I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. ...Our stories are singular, but our destinies are shared...it is the dawn of a new era...our true power comes, not from the strength of our arms, ...but from the enduring power of our ideas.

YES WE CAN."
- President-elect Barack Obama
in his acceptance speech
nov 4, 2008
Thanks y'all...doing my best to keep my focus on the love, and not the h8. Keep on keepin' on. Sí se puede. Yes. We. Can.
Labels: no on h8, obama, queer rights, vote 2008

:: ewee 11:45:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Thursday, May 22, 2008 ::

tch-tch-changes

Been a lotta change around here. Queers can tie the knot (even trekkies!)...get your appointment now (and remember to VOTE in the upcoming and November elections). In case you think McCain's alright, and you've been distracted by the Clinton-Obama sideshow, take a gander at why it's more important than ever that a Dem wins this year! (Not to mention peachy's *excellent* point that we don't want a Repub selecting the next Supreme Court nominee!)
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On mahwhege: So much to say, and so many feelings getting in the way. First...hurray! Queers can get hitched (again) in sf (at least till November). And second, yes, there are many many other major civil rights issues out there that need to be addressed. No, i'm not sure i'll ever get married again (i'm a romantic...but, well, let's just say, i'm certainly not expecting wedding bells before the nov election). But it is wonderful to see the joy in so many of my friends (many who are married already and/or in committed long-term relationships). happiness is a good thing.
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On werk: So, my buddy at work responded to a question of mine, and it gave me some interesting stuff to chew on. It's true that I'm in a dead-end job, with not much opportunity for growth. It wasn't ever a problem, since I was here for the people, and pizzawhirled treated me pretty alright. But the latest round of layoffs and the loss of good people have been particularly hard to take (they're never easy). And all signs are pointing toward change. Which is a good thing, as it takes a lotta signs before I buck the forces of inertia and get moving.

The bad thing is, all this change, combined with other rudimentary external forces (like over-caffeination), has elevated my already-elevated anxiety levels. Stress runs through me, leaving me wound rather tightly--I had a PT tell me once that I was basically constantly doing anaerobic exercises. Guess it's good for my muscle tone (gotta figure out a way to re-route the tension to work on my abs). So now I'm working on letting go (or if I can't let go, faking it till I make it--I am relaxed, dammit!). There's a lot of impending doom out there, but there's only so much I can do about it. And back to Ji's response, the lesson I'm working on this week is to sit with what I'm doing. If I'm drawing some kooky thing for someone, I'll draw it and move on. The response isn't the point. And maybe I don't need to push so hard on recalcitrant advertisers. If they don't care about the quality of their own ads, why should I feel any differently?

Not sure if any of that made sense, but I'm back at meditating (averaging about 8 minutes at a time) and Kajukenbo has been good for me. Not sure what it is, but I used to hate sparring, and for some reason, now it makes me smile. I was running late yesterday, so I only caught about 15 minutes of sparring (during which I was mainly a punching bag for my upper belt big sisters), but I was smiling like a fool the whole time.

Oh, and an aside. Sorry about the inconsistent capitalization and extra-spazzy-ness. I'm combining bits from a coupla jotted down drafts, so it's a bit spotty. I'll come back and whittle it down if/when I can.
Labels: change, civil rights, queer rights, vote 2008

:: ewee 4:14:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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