[dogmo]::words

dogmo.com [may 2000]

.[werd]. 02 . 03 . 04 . 05 . 06 . 07 . 08 . 09 . 10 . 11

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05.30.00
mediocrity

today is not as good or as bad as it could have been. having a bit of a time decompressing after a frenetically relaxed weekend [must.have.fun]. moley is pretty good - a little more needy, but then, I'm only too glad to oblige. she had a good time at a variety of social events this weekend [she's such a socialite].

her MRI is this thursday, and I'm beside myself with anxiety [actually, it's more like I'm inside my GI tract, threatening to come out, rather than next to myself].

went back to breakupgirl for advice, but only got more tired.
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05.25.00
abatement

less grumpy today. don't worry, it won't last...

someone nominated me for the guru altruism award! to be honest, I'm flattered, and I know just the shoes to wear if I win [$9.99 at Goodwill], but I can't say I deserve it.
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05.24.00
fatigue

moley keeps waking me at 2 or 3 in the morning. which, all in all, is better than her having an accident indoors.

chipped my tooth this morning! AAGH!

What I want - my ambition - is larger than anyone imagines. I want to be able to write so powerfully I can break the heart of the world and heal it. I want to write in such a way as to literally remake the world, to change people's thinking as they look out of the eyes of the characters I create.
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Do not eat your own heart out in hope of pleasing them...
- Dorothy Allison

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05.23.00
obsessing additive

Spent last night happily obsessing Sol LeWitt style. And made some accidental chicken that I was proud of.

Yesterday, walked a little ways with a sweet sweet halmohnee. Short, sweet, talking to birds, chatty, happy.

The louder you laugh and the farther apart you plant your feet, the more respect you will get. Take up space, because it's not a school dance.
- Erika Lopez, BUST [Spring 2000]

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05.22.00
whole.damn.yay

and from the web economy bullshit generator
my favorite so far: "mesh sexy vortals"
[thanks michael]

it's HOT. yay. went to this swimming hole this weekend and had a fabulous time. it was hot enough that even I went swimming [as well as happily baking in the sun].

on the way to the swimming hole. this guy leaned outta his truck and yelled an epithet [the funny thing was, it sure sounded like "FEMINIST!" - but mebbe he was just super vocal in his support]. whatever.

then as we were wandering back - happily tired and sunny, with the dogs grinning sleepily - i spotted a swastika tattoo on this young woman's leg. couldn't believe my eyes - but the etchasketch shaking of my head didn't make the picture go away.

I guess that's why I left the country and moved to the city.
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05.19.00
.weather.

glorious weather. still stressed over my dogglydog, so I've been distracting myself with javascript [see stupid and annoying below].
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05.17.00
random.bits
[Too swamped to properly write, I'll clean up the fragments later. or not.]

woohoo! more javascript nonsense! took unreasonbly long to pump out these two pages, but it was oh so worth the effort. they're moderately stupid, and quite annoying, but I'm happy. so there.

Seeing art everywhere - in the funniest places. Alleys that are becoming familiar, corners of traditionally industrial trades in a neighborhood overrun by dotcom nonsense.

FYI: 30 is fantastic, way better than all the figuring and filtering of the 20's

Telling the day of the week by street sweeping parking. Telling the time of day from the cushy bus that stops to pick up someone across the street.

Just joined webloggers webring. hopefully this will prove interesting.
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05.16.00
the pursuit of enchiladas
[bike to werk day!]

lunchtime. keep missing the tuesday special on enchiladas [my life is So complex]. and I biked to work and didn't see any helpful people with snacks. oh my thwarted attempts at fullfillment.

karma. can't say i set much store by it. there are way way too many things - both good and bad - that happen to people that aren't deserved. either way it's abhorrent to me - either as a license for smug self righteousness, or as a cruel reversal that holds the surivivor responsible for the indignities inflicted on them.
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05.15.00
monday.monday

more good moments this weekend with the mo. coffee in the sunny kitchen with moley falling asleep in a gorgeous square of light. misty drizzly walks through the trees. food and sun [both of us], beer [just me] in the park.

I know I've been getting sleepy and cheesy, but that's just how it is right now.

the drugs are giving moley the fiercest munchies I've ever seen. it's at once hilarious, reassuring [she's still my feisty pup], and a huge pain in the rear. she tried to inhale [literally] my lunch from across the table [imagine a doggly suction pump].
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05.12.00
t.g.i.f.

had one of those mornings - cheesy when it's down in words, but essential to my definition of happiness. y'know, a cuppa coffee, sunny kitchen and my hound munching happily on breakfast [ok, so she was wolfing down her food more than munching it, and I was bleary and incoherent, but it's as close to grace as I come].

and I am trying to enjoy the moments whatever they are. little things like good friends, strong coffee with too much sugar, and funky tunes blaring in my headphones.

altho I'm still drowning in fear and feel that clammy crawling sense that something is about to hit me in the headheartstomach.
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tufty mo!

05.11.00
fearful and fragmented

been swamped with stress. unable to completely release the feeling that I'm suffocating.

trying to get back into the groove of werk after a few days of anxious hell, watching helplessly as my dog went into seizures that no drugs seemed able to ease. like the sweet sweet mo that she is, she's pretty unfazed by it all and alternates between drunken smiley stumbling and her usual feisty zeal for life - all punctuated by funny ravenous munchies.
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05.05.00
love.attachments
happy cinco de mayo!

today my heart is breaking wide open, and not even a dumb virus can stop it.

glad for my gorgeous walk this morning with my sweet moleywoley. had weird heart palpitations last night - perhaps it was the combination of msg, advil and beer.

"Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself."
- Rita Mae Brown
[thanks for the quote, Bleu]

great article about artists, design, ego and the like
[no nasty javascript popup window]
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05.03.00
living la vida moley
[WARNING! javascript popwindowfun!]

been in my happy little latte neighborhood long enough that the longterm folks are friendly to me and noticing things like how long my hair's getting.

got all these crazy cool stickers and sheete last night. I gotta crush on steady girl! it's tank girl meets cibo mato meets goggles!

sheesh. was listening to freakshow and my folks called. howsabout that.

the links have taken over the asylum! i can't keep up [archive links? hum]. and tho blogger is good the waiting occassionally frustrates me [I mean hey, I can FTP almost 24/7 as is]. still, i'm trying it on for size [so far it's a little tight, but still cool - jordache, anyone?].
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05.02.00
[f] [a] [t] tuesday

Woke up at 5am today - haven't seen either side of 5am in a long long time.

While I tried to figure out if I was really gonna wake up or not, I scratched Moley's belly. She stretched happily and went back to sleep. I followed, and woke up sore from weird naplike sleep, but glad for the extra rest.

This morning on the train into work, instead of the usual drab suits, there was a mob of short people, I mean, kids. They were pretty entertaining, and I was sorry to see them stampede off. One boy had perfectly slicked back hair, and was fussing happily with it in the window.

Another girl proudly proclaimed that she'd had only water for breakfast.

white board art

I wanted to tell her that little girls that didn't eat breakfast turned into THAT (pointing toward sleazy suit guy). But there didn't seem much point in scaring her. It's not like a kid should be talking to weird adults on the train.

The worst of it was that she couldn't've been more than 8 or 10 years old.
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doodles during meetings...

05.01.00
happymayday!

I'm at work. my own fault, I shoulda remembered earlier and tried to do something for mayday. there are apparently marches and rallies all over - I haven't got the time, but here's last year's article in the sf bay guardian. lemme know if there's a more up-to-date one.

happy.happy.happy,
e w e e

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