tempt me already
ok, yagonna watch the final episode, or what? it's hideous, revolting, and as addicting as picking at scabs. yep it's temptation island -- and if you must maintain the moral high-ground (boring!) just check out salon's witty analysis here and here.

just remember, they had to watch it to write the article. so there, I'm not in such bad company after all. anyway, it's a great anthropological study in blabbity-blah. vital to my sensibilities as a designer. finger on the pulse of the cultural mileu and all that.
from the salon article:
The thing is, Andy and Shannon really, really hate each other -- but it's a polite, insidious, repressed hatred. It's an Episcopalian sort of hatred. It's OK to hate somebody, but not to get worked up over it. So Andy suffuses every interaction with Shannon with the veiled threat of his imminent, explosive sex spree and Shannon punishes him by smiling and crinkling her sad eyes and acting like his mother and never dumping his sorry ass.

It's so creepy and sinister, we wish the whole show were about them.
what they say.

:: ewee 1:16:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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fun with emotions
was a bit of a roller coaster the last few weeks. satch has been good, but I'm constantly holding my breath waiting for the next metaphor to drop.

she's been really good tho, less clumsy and definitely more like the spunky happy pup I've known.

had another sweet beach adventure with her yesterday. the weather was astonishingly gorgeous, shorts on the beach in feb! moley sleepily wandered about and eventually fell asleep. I dug out a nice big spot of cool wet sand, and built a little wall to shade her from the sun. then I busied myself with a nice deep tunnel from the otherside of the wall.

by the time we were ready to leave, I had sand everywhere and was exhausted. oh well, it was worth it :P
...

and then even tv failed me
last night they killed joyce summers -- oh no! AND dark angel was bumped for titillation island. ah well.

:: ewee 12:41:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Saturday, February 24, 2001 ::

that's better
40lb punching bag = great antidepressant

:: ewee 11:08:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Friday, February 23, 2001 ::

understimulant
caught some sun at fort fun with moley. she's sleepier and slower today -- resting more and pacing less. not a bad thing as she's losing weight rapidly these days. she's gone from 73 lbs. to 62 lbs. in the last coupla months, but there doesn't seem much point in worrying, as she's got more serious things on her mind (ahem, so to speak).

trying to keep her a little understimulated as well. she seemed a little extra skittish this morning, so now it's fear of seizures all over again. I'm doing my version of her pacing -- I've cleared out three desk-related surfaces today. at this rate, my workspace might actually be workable!

:: ewee 4:57:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Thursday, February 22, 2001 ::

pigdog fountain
had a lovely day yesterday with moley at gbbeach. we hiked down to the beach, and played in the sun. after all the rain and ups and downs with satch's health, it's hard not to feel like any dogday in the sun is a gift. it's good to have that time with satchmo.

we even made a little pigdog fountain (similar to a bird bath) -- satch started digging out shallow pools for the rainwater to collect in, and I helped out with a cool oar I found on the beach. soon we had a nice sized freshwater pool for moley to simultaneously lie in and slurp from. I think we were both pretty pleased.

it was one of those unlikely moments when you're able to appreciate the value of the memory you're creating even as you create it.
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afterlife
today (2/22 at 2pm) was our originally scheduled date to put moley down.

feels a bit surreal. and I'm only too aware that things could become worse at any moment. it's a bit exhausting, all this emotional nonsense combined with sleep deprivation, constant mop patrol, and generalized anxiey/stress. I'm sure they have a pill for it tho. I'll just wait and see what my TV tells me to take.

but moley's snoring sweetly on my bed, and that's enough for now.
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bendy of badness
badbendy! love it! something like your penchant for tight spaces, no? thanks for the visuals. needed that. must admit that it was a group effort -- bleu and dees were all in on it.

:: ewee 11:39:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Wednesday, February 21, 2001 ::

:: wendy 6:27:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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evil bendy - thanks ewee!

:: wendy 10:11:00 AM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Tuesday, February 20, 2001 ::

moleywole
is good, despite her tendency to pee on freshly shampooed carpet. oh well, must be some sorta dog joke. baskie has been very patient with satch, even as she stands on his face, and pins his lips to the ground (ouch!). she's sleepy today, and restless as ever (back to sleep deprivation, I'm afraid). been doing some work today (at home -- yay!), and am not inclined to go out at all. sigh. satch has been sweet and snoozing on her dogbed almost all day.

:: ewee 3:52:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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random bits
check out this recipe search tool...

:: ewee 3:48:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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everybody ws kungfu fighting
this weekend included: bruce lee retrospective at the chinese cultural center, wing chun [one of the best movies of all time!], black mask, and return of the dragon.

actually, it was a lotta movies -- went to the first annual korean film fest, watched the celebration [another GREAT movie] and the bride with the white hair [ohmigawd. better in fast forward, I'm afraid] over some jiffy pop, kung fu video night (as mentioned above), and then good will hunting on tv (while trying to work).

:: ewee 3:41:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Monday, February 19, 2001 ::

ewee, evil bendy has been, well, bent into place on the dashboard of the jeep. he (she?) fits perfectly, like he (she?) belongs there. will post photos soon.

:: wendy 7:12:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Friday, February 16, 2001 ::

hmmm.. another link to add to the mess. a summer program that combines korean shtick with activism. mmm. very interesting.

:: ewee 10:58:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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moley update [brief]
she's in good spirits, but pretty clumsy and tired today. we had nice slow walkies this morning and now she's snoozing. on the other hand, I'm grumpy and depressed. even TV is losing it's edge. mebbe tempation island next week will lift my spirits (I might be badly off, but damn, at least I'm not them!)

the tough bit now is deciding the next steps. endings and the like. so I'm burying myself in cleaning and projects. gotta stop and have a nice strolly-wole later. I keep checking in with her, but she's such a sweet stoic little dog. no bigger heart than hers, that's for sure.

:: ewee 1:26:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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geek
whassup jim? do programmers only blog in error messages and such?

:: ewee 1:16:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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my measures
okeedokee. here's my take:
couple: 2-3 (definitely not 4)
few: 4-5
several: 6,7,8,9 (but not usually 10)
bunch: uh, refers to bananas and muni
good call on the cultural filters -- mine would be mom (korean), and mostly best coast upbringing. needless to say, lisa and bleu disagree. ah the power of self publishing. you'll never know what they think, eh? mwah-hahahah... I'm fairly in line with jill and she's a big ole famous writing type, so what's good enough for bellhooks is good enough for me.

:: ewee 1:15:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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good phone
yeehaw. the phone line is back up at home. not that you could tell, as I've been celebrating by playing online, I mean doing work online all morning. thank dog.

:: ewee 1:10:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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good measures
a couple is 2-3, despite literal meaning.
a few is ~3.
several is 4-5.
a bunch is more than that.
[cultural filters in use: cuban upbringing, two decades in midwest, mid-thru-late 20s on left coast]

:: pirate 11:27:00 AM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Thursday, February 15, 2001 ::

Access denied!!! how !!!

:: Jim 2:41:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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opinions...?
informal survey -- how many is a few? a couple? there seems to be a difference of opinion across cultures... (ie lisa, me and bleu disagree -- they're wrong, I'm right. so back me up. i'll post the answers I agree with, and delete the ones I disagree with. just kidding).

:: ewee 2:19:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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catquake
aah. shoulder rub. delivery. my favorite ideas. well, a coupla them, anyhoo. thanks fer the karma vibes to moley. will try and explain to her that cat vibes are not necessarily to be feared. and will make mental note to add de link to youse (here it is: mental note).

:: ewee 2:15:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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huzzah - am honored to come into the fold. my three black kittens and I send vibes of good karma to satchmo along the earth's surface - they should be there soon. wish I could kozmo you a shoulder rub, ewee.

:: pirate 12:35:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Tuesday, February 13, 2001 ::

thanks, bendy, for the kind words. verklempt and at werk. so more later.

:: ewee 2:33:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Monday, February 12, 2001 ::

should've put this in your blog. sigh sigh sigh is right.

:: wendy 9:04:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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stumbling
it's breaking my heart, but Satchthemoleywole has gotten really really stumbly these days. she spends the evenings pacing around the apartment, bashing into things. it would be funny, except that it's not. like the sweetheart that she is, she remains smiley and lovey, perservering in her doggly way. did I already mention that it's breaking my heart? sigh sigh sigh.

:: ewee 4:24:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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thanks bendy
oh, and thanks for the plug too!

:: ewee 12:56:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Friday, February 09, 2001 ::

fear and mayhem
the armor is cracking. I was shutting everything out pretty successfully, but it's started to seep in again. probably not a bad thing, but I hate that suffocating feeling.

:: ewee 4:28:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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muni
last night the guy across from me (in khakis) had 6-7 pairs of khakis from the dry cleaners, while the woman next to me pored over contact sheet after contact sheet of her face.

:: ewee 4:19:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Thursday, February 08, 2001 ::

up all night

.........=====...........==== ......//...........\\......//.......\\ ....//...............\\...//.........\\ ...//..................\\//...........|| ...||....................V............|| ...||.................................// .....\\.............................// .......\\.........................// .........\\......................// ...........\\...................// .............\\...............// ................\\..........// ..................\\......// .....................\\.// .......................V

:: ewee 11:02:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Tuesday, February 06, 2001 ::

brilliant: make a donation in gwb's name to a pro choice organization!
do it now. and just think of the light in little george's eyes, as he gets all those thank you notes for supporting a women's right to choose!

find the planned parenthood nearest you, and donate locally.

Anyone can make a donation, no matter how small.

[thanks to valerie and bendy and, of course, patt morrison of the Times...]

:: ewee 5:41:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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difficult times

things are a little hard with the sweetest mo of late. her enjoyment of treats goes unabated, but navigating stairs and around objects has become more problematic.

my heart is breaking, and there's nothing I can do.

:: ewee 12:05:00 AM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Monday, February 05, 2001 ::

quotey
[thanks christopher]
"I believe talent is like electricity. We do not understand electricity. We use it. Electricity makes no judgement. You can plug into it, and light up a lamp, keep a heart pump going, light a cathedral, or you can electrocute a person with it...I think talent is like that. I believe every person is born with talent."

-Maya Angelou

:: ewee 7:39:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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my new favorite thing
for today, ennywheys. (thanks miz beck fer the link)

:: ewee 1:51:00 PM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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:: Thursday, February 01, 2001 ::

snakely mandu
in a somewhat annual celebration, had mandu with the korean queer mafia this weekend. we're bigger than you think. and hungrier. and more helpful. it was fun, tho I don't think I had more than three of the damn things. had plenty of wine tho. so happy year of the snake, and all that.

:: ewee 12:52:00 AM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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snoring mo
she's sleeping sweetly. strange accidents these days. gross huge poops moments after returning from a walk. then a quick pee before we could recover. learned all about the carpet shampooer tonight. but now she's snoozing, and I can play with her ears and hug her. helps stave off the heartbreak.

bought her a ridiculously cute bowl (her third one since December) and placemat this week. Not bad for a dog who's used the same food bowl all her life. doesn't fix things (especially not the wallet). but sure fooled me for a minit.

had a nice walk with her yesterday? monday? (the mind is the first to go. oh, that's in bad taste, isn't it?) went to fort fun and gnawed on some msg chicken while moley trotted eagerly after me. the sunset wasn't bad either.

:: ewee 12:47:00 AM [+] :: 0 comments ::
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bike nose
riding my bike (no, that kinda bike) in to work today, and realized that the city has a landscape of smells. there's fresh donuts (wonder bread?) near division and otis, bbq (big nate's) on folsom, and random other smells. you just don't get that in a car.

:: ewee 12:41:00 AM [+] :: 0 comments ::
...